June, Jelly Kaur, and the saga of my sister
by Sukhi
Initially, I did not set SMART goals because I am extra...extra chill. Parm influenced me to set them, and looking at the post I made last, I see how limited and burdened my soul cleanse became with the assignment of quantity and additional criteria making my goals feel unfamiliar and unlike me. As I wrote on the introductory post of fybr "this blog is about freedom." This is my soul cleanse, my 2yrplan, my moodboards, my work. My self-work, in fact. In one month, instead of making progress on any of the prescriptions in my falling from a dream post, I make these defensible claims with the ability to back them: I reclaim, and I give nothing away. I am here to write openly about my life. The lessons are timely because in the last month I have spent too much time giving away too much, a symbol of how I've spent my years. My energy and my effort and work are to be protected now. Moving forward, I accept no counsel on the creation or rendition of the 2 yr plan, nor on how I proceed with the work associated.
I'll tell you what happened
My entire month of June faced disruption. I got off to a rocky start on the very first day before my programming even began and lasted until the very end when I got into a tumultuous, explosive argument with my sister and upset the entire family. Something about Saturn (my ruling planet), something about retrograde, my patterns. I've been probably the most tired I've ever been in my life from this month and from these events. My home life is extremely strained, flawed, and my family members are highly dysfunctional individuals defined on the about page as integral, part of my soul, and part of my soul cleanse. They are the heart of what is bringing me down, they are the past who held me back. I can't speak to my sister, I can't deal with my parents. My brother doesn't speak to me. I will end on Jelly Kaur, the baby girl expected August 12, 2020, the high note and the light in this dark, a baby who maybe I'll never hold because of the problems my sister has with herself. I don't really feel open at this moment.
My Last Prescription, all my jobs
I planned to do yoga, write, and meditate. I did so much more. I started up a private soccer training business which could pay my rent. There is no predicting, however, the stability or rate of signups, or how long the players will stay on. So far, it has been on a monthly basis and 100% of the players are returning for the second month.
I xeriscaped a perimeter of my front yard, and landscaped it with flowers and trees. I did a side yard as well and started working on the other perimeters of my house. The gardening and working outside has served as meditation. The new, designed areas and spaces are secret sitting areas I spend my time in.
I began collaborating as an art director with designers and photographers on important concepts to be articulated throughout summer and fall.
I'm sealing the deal on a couple web design jobs.
I'm loving doing business, and I'm probably going to open up my freelancing areas to fashion, style and design, more creative industries to exercise my talent and panache.
I can't keep track of everything
June is over. I am the most tired writing this right now. Bye for now. Ciao.