The evolution of her and the cleanse of her soul
by Sukhi
It's a beautiful morning and buttery diffused sunshine sparkles across my field of vision. I watch closely, my mind and senses pick up and search for new sensations. I wake up differently, I act differently, I write differently. I am interested in change. I am living inwardly. I am listening to you, I love you.
I focus on hitting the mat, making the mat my home and starting to live inside my head and body with more subtle awareness and more acceptance for myself, more interest in myself. I am ready to feel the sinew toned across my bones, I am ready for my skin, I am curious to sink into my body and see how deep I can go. I am ready to open up to myself, to open up begin again. I am ready, I'm listening, I want you, I love you. I'm inside you, I'm the voice inside your head.
Let's Go
Things have to change for me. I have to go forward. I have to study. I have to learn. The language isn't right, "I have to, I have to," no. I am being pulled by my heartstrings toward a certain work and the path is not clear. Not much else is clear. I am criticized for not having clarity. I want to do what I want to do and I believe it's in my stars to be this way. I believe the path is in my stars, too, and no clarity is needed to keep going. Clarity is completely overvalued by my brothers, at least by Parm, clarity is overvalued by my mom and dad. I have no support, and my stars do say I reach only a a medium level of education, but I will tell you this: I continue, I go on, I have me.
Usually I am ready to speak on actionable items. Usually I like to audit and claim boldly about my work and what I am working for, what I hope to achieve. But at this moment, I am interested in having a relationship with myself where I can support myself in any undertaking to come. This proclaimation is from me to me, I love you, I'm speaking to you, I'm interested in you.
What are my issues at this moment? I want to write more. I want to publish to my blogs. I want to throw up major articles on nargis blog code name nargis, I want 2yrplan to take wild shape, I want to publish to FYBR about my wealth, riches, and charts, graphs, spreadsheets of my wins. I want to make AN OTHER blog, another outlet where I test and review products in beauty, skin, and wellness categories, I want to produce content for YouTube. I want to edit videos. I need an amazing, faster computer, I need a private place to work and grow and spread out, my tentacles like I do everywhere, like my parents hate, like my parents bag up in a black trash sack. Like they bag up and cast aside, like they take posters off the wall. I need to expand, I must, I must grow beyond what I have, I have to, "I have to."
Next up for me, STOP.
Chill
Here's the list of things I can work on to get to my vision of silence and emptiness.
- Convert the bodeguita
- Work inside your body, work inside your head
That's it. Hit the mat, make the mat your home.
- Write to nargis
- Write to FYBR
I have more in me. Ciao-